


Haunted by the past

by Bigou



Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Human Experimentation, Human Turned Transformer, Human turned Cybertronian, Mention(s) of Canon Characters - Freeform, Post-Cybertronian Civil War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:15:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29363112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bigou/pseuds/Bigou
Summary: A transformer wake up from a nightmare and think back on its past.English ISN'T my birth language! So please comment on any errors I make.
Relationships: Original Cybertronian Character(s)/Original Cybertronian Character(s)





	1. Reworking the story

**Author's Note:**

> This fictions contain a very personal version of things existing in the different Transformers universes.
> 
> It also contain 4 OCs and the few canon names you'll read are only here as mentions of the characters, they aren't actually present in the story.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just to let you know I will rework the story and tell you my plans.

Let's be honest, this story is far from being as great as it could. And while I'm not sure I can make it as great as it could be, I at least know I can do better.

So, I decided to rework this story, letting this one only as an archive, to let people see how I improved it.

I'll probably cut the new version in several chapters and use the viewpoint of separate characters, rather than only NightWind. I will also make sure I describe each character better. (I must admit, I hadn't a clear design in mind for each of them, a grave error.) So yeah, you can read this version, but know it shouldn't have been anything else than a first draft, written an, worst of all, posted, far too fast.

Oh, and the title is probably going to change too. I don't know into what yet, but once the new version is here I will make sure to let you know.


	2. The only true chapter

_A tiny human is maintained in a scaled-up hamster cage by a purple Cybertronian cyclops. Suddenly, the Decepticon open the cage and grab its human prisoner, plunging him into the ‘Flesh’ of a poor unsuspecting protoform. The human is drowning in the almost liquid body of the crying baby Cybertronian, feeling it entering every orifices. Unable to push the human out since he was maintained there by the Decepticon cyclops overseeing the experimentation, the protoform started to assimilate it, the two beings having more and more difficulties to tell where one ended and where the other started. Finally the experiments ended with both subjects dying, but after a few days studying samples of the resulting dead body, the Decepticon scientist would come to the conclusions that by feeding a small piece of it to a human, and then feeding them Energon- lacced water, he would successfully turn at least some of them into Cybertronians. Better yet, they would be fully grown Cybertronian, only needing reprogramming to become loyal members of Megatron's armies._

* * *

I brutally wake-up from recharging. If I was still human I probably would be covered in cold sweat. Knowing I wouldn't be able to go into recharge anymore, I decide I probably should prepare and go to work early.

While I slowly take my intake of Energon for the day, or rather for the sub-Cycle, I can't help but think of the past after the nightmare that woke me up sooner than usual. My forced conversion from organic to mechanical life form took place so long ago that my human family is long gone, but I still have nightmares about it from time to time.

Thankfully Optimus Prime and his Autobots rescued us before Shockwave could reprogram any one having already reached the end of their conversion. But most of us were only partially converted, and not only was the process irreversible, but not leading it to its end would make our death from highly likely to guaranteed. Add to it that it was soon discovered a few were showing sign of turning into Titans instead of ordinary Cybertronians, complicating things further, especially when it come to their survival…

You have to hand it to Ratchet, even faced with a great number of patients in incommensurable pain, much of which wouldn't survive, he was still able to stay clear-headed and do his job. Doesn't mean he didn't find it spark-breaking, mind you.

Among the few Titans who survived was someone I knew very well: Phoenix. No, she didn't change her name because her robot mode look like a giant fire-colored bird, it already was her name. I must admit that when we were still human I had a crush on her, but it's hard to have the confidence to confess when your gender doesn't align with the sex of your body. At least becoming a Transformer corrected that.

If you don't know what a Cybertronian Titan is, imagine one of us being so big they can contain a whole crew of normal sized Cybertronians and then some, with the ability to turn into a space-faring fortress.

On my way to work I crossed path with a few friends, rapidly saying hi before going on my way. Once I arrived at my destination, I saw the surprise on the face of my colleagues, FearBreaker even asking "Everything okay NightWind? You're a few Groons early." She is what you might call a gentle giant, easily towering over most of us which, combined with her bulk, can make her terrifying, regardless of her young age. A shame, because once you know her our young apprentice is a delight to have around.

"Don't worry, just a nightmare about the past…" As soon as I had answered that, I could see the lights on Phoenix's brain-module change, indicating it assuaged her worries. Few peoples are lucky enough to be granted access to the brain-chamber of a Titan, and unless you're a CitySpeaker, it's usually a once in a lifetime occurrence.

Usually, to learn CitySpeaking you need a long apprenticeship starting at a very young age, but that something nobody told Phoenix. So once we were reunited after her conversion, the first thing she did was to connect me to her brain-module without warning, just to let me know that she loved me and didn't care that we became two very different kind of Cybertronians with very different size, nor that I wasn't male anymore. Thankfully one of the CitySpeakers that had been assigned to her, FlamingBird, was able to disconnect me before Phoenix could fry my own brain-module, while explaining to said Titan how she may have caused me severe damages.

I was lucky enough that it wasn't the case and I woke up two cycle later, my brain having used that time to rewire itself so I could safely connect to a Titans. But while I suddenly gained the abilities of a CitySpeaker, I had none of the knowledge and experiences needed to be one, so I was sent do a demi-Decacycle formation on diverse Titans, learning all a CitySpeaker need to know while more CitySpeakers teached Phoenix all a Titan need to know to not hurt anyone living inside herself.

By then the war had ended on a victory for the Autobots and the treaty Optimus Prime signed with humanity required they relinquish all Cybertronian and Cybertronian-based technologies they had. It also made it illegal for any Transformer to contact Earth, even the ones who were former humans, like Phoenix and myself. I understand why he wanted things this way, put in the wrong hand Cybertronian technologies could cause apocalyptic events, and some humans would gladly experiment on Transformers, even ones that weren't born Cybertronians. But not even being able to communicate with our still organic loved-ones via video-call? (Or even an Audio one?) Lot of peoples still resent him for that one. Me, I was hit pretty hard by the news. My family and the few human friends in the know were all aware I was studying CitySpeaking, but instead of being able to share my joy at finally being a proper CitySpeaker, my happiness was dampened by that loss of contact.

Thankfully I was back on board Phoenix as one of her resident CitySpeaker, so we could comfort each others.

Back to the present FlamingBird, who is currently connected to Phoenix, look at me and saying "I tried to assuage our titan that you probably just had a nightmare, like you do every Kilocycle, but that didn't stop her from worrying so much I thought my processor was going to burn to death."

"Do you need me to take over early?"

"While I appreciate the feeling, I'm not sure it would be a good idea with how understaffed we are, NightWind." Normally a Titan as at least five full-fledged CitySpeakers, but you would be hard pressed to find any former human with a good opinion of Optimus Prime since he forcefully cut us off from Earth, which is a rather unpopular opinion among both Autobots and unaligned so most of the CitySpeakers who took care of Phoenix' after she became a Titan abandoned her since. FlamingBird was the only one to stay, believing that her alt-mode looking so much like a miniature version of our Titan's root-mode was a sign from Primus himself.

As I walk to my post, I ask the question asked every time one of us take over from the other, "No news about our request for more CitySpeakers?" knowing we wouldn't have any, as always.

To my surprise, I'm wrong about it this time. "We do. Apparently, as the last Decepticon Titan Tripticon ended with so much CitySpeakers that they only have **one** Cycle of duty every **Quartex** , so they're willing to take any place place that want them, and since few Autobots would accept a Decepticon CitySpeaker in their Titans…"

"…Only Phoenix and is left." I end for her. "I don't have any problem with Decepticons joining us. War make you do things you never would otherwise, and it ended so long ago it's more than time people forgave them." I briefly look at FearBreaker, wondering which Titan she wanted to be assigned too, but have more pressing things to do. I sit in my chair and connect myself to Phoenix' brain-module. Being connected to a Titan isn't really something you can describe. It's like becoming one with a greater being, but without loosing your individual self in it. I don't think that's something you can understand without experiencing it by yourself.

Of course, it's a bit different when I'm the one connecting to Phoenix. While all I said previously still apply, it also feel like the loving embrace of a lover, except mental rather than physical.

The duties of a CitySpeaker is to use their ability to better detect problems with their Titan's body and signal them to the maintenance crew, but also to help Titans communicate with other Cybertronians, something they find hard because of their very nature. Most languages are too restrictive for them. The frequent short connections of an apprentice to a Titan's brain help their own processors rewire itself so it can parse a Titan's thought into something comprehensible by a common Cybertronian.

As a former human, Phoenix is also struggling with her inability to have any real social contacts with her fellow Cybertronians. (She doesn't count peoples touching the ‘walls’ of the corridors inside her, even if she appreciate and is grateful for the intentions behind the gesture.) She compensate for this by bringing her CitySpeakers to a virtual reality where she can, but with only two of us for now, the effect is limited. It didn't stop me from finding myself in an empty virtual space, hugged by Phoenix' avatar, which I know look exactly like she did as a human.

"Can you shift into your human avatar please, my voice? Your Cybertronian body is unforgiving hard." It make me laughs. "You're the one in such a hurry to hug me that you put me in V.R. without warning." But despite my words I immediately changed to my own human avatar, which Phoenix created for me. It mostly look as my old self could have if I had been born a woman, my CitySpeaker's marks tattooed on my face, making it almost look like a kabuki mask. "You don't need to put my markings on my human avatar you know. Especially since you got them wrong."

"I did? How?" To answer her, I make a virtual mask appear near us, modifying it as I explain. "Well, first what you used is the marks of an unmarried CitySpeaker, with the bold red line under the eye, the ‘spike’ of the same color that goes from the corner of the eye and follow the side of the nose, and that strange ‘curl’ that goes from the middle of the mark, dropping in a curve so it can follow along while diminishing? Normally, for a married CitySpeaker, you have a smaller gold curl that come from under the red and goes to the other side. The red symbolizing our duties to our Titan, while the gold does the same for our duties to our Conjunx Endura. But my case is special, since **you** are my wife on top of being my Titan. So instead its the big red curl itself who's painted gold. But again, my human avatar don't need to have any mark."

"Maybe, but I want it to, it's a symbol of our relationship after all. You're not only Night-voice to me, you're **my** voice, more than Burning-voice or Shy-voice, your apprentice, can ever hope to be. Sure, all three of you speak for me to peoples that can't understand what I say otherwise, but you know me like no one else does, on a level no one else does. And while I stay in contact with my fellow Titans through our own long distances comm', none of them really understand me, that's something you're better at than them, even with all you don't understand not being a Titan yourself."

Sensing her sadness, I ask "Do you ever regret us becoming Cybertronians, you becoming a Titan?"

She instantly answer "No. I miss some aspect of being human, as I'm sure you do, and I wish I wasn't the only one to turn into a Titan without dying in the process. But becoming Cybertronians was the price to pay for us to be together, and that alone make it worth." As soon as Phoenix stopped thinking, she put the lips of her avatar on the mouth of mine, and kissed me hungrily.

Meanwhile in the real world, I could hear FlamingBird say to FearBreaker "Come, I think our two lovers need some time alone." "Bu-but I couldn't ask…" "Don't worry, whatever you wanted to ask, you can do later."

**Author's Note:**

>  **About the unites of time used in this story, here how they work:**  
>  _\- Cycle:_ a Cybertronian year, slightly longer than a Earth one.  
>  _\- Sub-Cycle:_ Time for Cybertron to rotate on itself, so a day. Shorter than one of Earth's days.  
>  _\- Decacycle:_ 10 Cycles. (So a demi-Decacycle correspond to 5 Cycles.)  
>  _\- Kilocycle:_ 1000 Cycles.  
>  _\- Groons:_ More or less an hour.  
>  _\- Joor (non used in current story):_ a Cybertronian week, contain 10 sub-Cycles.  
>  _\- Trimara (non used in current story):_ a Cybertronian month, contain 3 Joor. (Or 30 sub-Cycles, if you prefer.)


End file.
